My Grandmother recently passed away and now I desperately want spaghetti.

I know that that is stress eating but there is a reason; I always associate spaghetti with Maw-Maw. She made it the best. I know everyone says that about his or her Grandmother but here is why my statement is true: MEAT. She put 6 pounds of various meats in her sauce and I couldn’t get enough. Both her and my mother, and really that whole side of the family, expressed their love for you via food. I share the same sentiment. Bringing you to my house and cooking for you is the best way I know how to show you that I like you and want you to be my friend.

Maw-maw was like that too. As she forced a 3rd or even a 4th helping on you I wasn’t really because she thought, “you ‘re too skinny” but because she knew, as I now know, that a full stomach is an extremely effective hug. It says “I want you to be fat and happy,” and I for one fully embrace this sentiment.

We live in an increasingly isolated culture.

In many ways it is “me first Gimme-gimme” with social media providing false relationships and connection. We have 10,000 “friends” and no one to talk to. Any brief scroll through twitter will show you all you need to see about the increasing loneliness of our culture. England just appointed a Minister to combat the fact that many people around the world feel, and actually are, cut off from friends and family.

Maw-maw was the opposite of that. If Bull Shoals Arkansas ever needed to appoint a minister for Loneliness, it would have been her. If you met her around Thanksgiving you would have received an invitation to come to dinner. Every neighbor was all but forced to come down to the end of the street rather than eat alone. Every neighbor knew my grandparents and my grandparents knew every neighbor. I barely know my neighbor’s names.

There is something special that happens when you break bread with someone.

There is an intimacy that happens when they eat the food you have prepared or you eat the food they prepare. Something dare I say, magical that you just don’t get at a restaurant or bar. The simplicity of a roast chicken when shared from your oven becomes a feast. Maw-maw, or Jeannie to those who were not direct descendants, and Paw-paw (Bob) had special recipes that were brought out for company, spaghetti being only one of them.

I am now the proud, and jealously secretive, owner of Paw-Paw’s Barbecue Recipe, the awesome sauce that he doles out in reused plastic squeeze bottles of every shape and size to nearly everyone. My Grandmother would never send anyone away empty handed, whether it be leftovers or flowers or something you mention liking 26 years ago, you left their house with full hands, full stomachs, and full hearts.

So here is my point in all of this,

We need to share more meals as a culture and community. Invite someone over this weekend. Put the kids in the basement with a frozen pizza, some popcorn, and a movie. Make a couple of appetizers, let a nice bottle of red breathe, and sit down and enjoy the company of old friends. Better yet, make a triple batch of Giada De Laurentiis’ perfect pizza dough recipe and have 2 couples you’ve been meaning to get to know bring 2 sets of super fun ingredients (ie: potato, jalapeno, bacon, red onion, with motz and parm. Or roasted beets, apple, balsamic, fresh rosemary, thyme, and shaved parm. Or pesto, spinach, with an alfredo sauce, and maybe a smoked motz. Or shredded pork, BBQ, pickle, and a vinegar slaw with a peperjack…) I could keep going I have a list that’s 50+ pizzas long for the eventuality that we have another pizza party with friends.

For the record, if I invite you over for pizza I want us to be very  good friends indeed, not just everyone gets the call for pizza night.

These dining experiences will go a long way in bringing back something of the old generation’s values we lost. I know that it will go a long way in combating the loneliness that even couples feel at times and it will certainly allow you to change your status from Facebook friends to actual friends.

Of course you could also crack the code of the 6lbs meat sauce but I’m not sure you can handle that kind of power, or the mass of my family suddenly invading your house drawn by the smell. But it is comfort food at its finest, and making people feel comfortable is the name of the game. It is in fact the definition of hospitality: the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, generous, friendly way; also known as making them feel comfortable.

Final thoughts

So do me a favor, feed some friends this weekend, invite them into your home, make them some food, have a real conversation, make them feel comfortable. Here’s a ProTip: never put just one cheese on a pizza it will add a layer of complexity to your ‘za that will impress everyone. Add 2-3 cheeses at a minimum and bring a little love into the world, we all could use it.